To the Root

A wise and learned man once said to me

You must be willing to go to the root.

Though I thought the words were for another

As I felt I had been at my root

The engagement was penetrating and noted.

Stayed with me it did

Always travelling inward toward some deeper

Understanding of my way of being in the world.

Knowing myself to be of good cheer and a warm heart

Wishing to have that become my way, each and everyday

I persevered.

I wondered why I could be seen as something else

When I knew my root was pure and my intentions and desires simplistic.

I was hurt by the interpretations and judgments of my existence

My footprint on the earth.

How could it be that I was seen so opposed to what

I have always known myself to be.

Then one day as I laid down in the Centre of my wound

I discovered that the terror and helplessness I carried in my root

Bound me and robbed me of my true way.

Facing this pain, this unconscionable truth gathered when I was just a

Small and vulnerable child

Had set my course, locked me solid

Closed off the channels

Deadened the body.

Out it did come

Though not without great willingness

And bravery

Bravery to face my root.

          Lori  Ellis-McKinney  (2013)