The other side of the coin
To be so life giving all my days
Then to see it all disappear in a flash
In a simple sentence.
To be consumed by sorrow
At such a level
That it robbed me of my essence,
My ability to love, to be present
To administer my calling
To be an instrument.
Consumed by unspeakable grief
Lodged so deep in my interior
I could not pray it out, drive it out, work it out
Sweat it out and all the other methods I tried
With complete abandon.
House on Fire
Crazed inside
No language to describe the suffering the fury.
Devastated by the hurt I saw in the eyes of those I held dear
and loved with all my heart all the days of my life.
Though I did not blame them for their rejection of me
I knew they could not understand the
root of my funnel.
And so it is written as my destiny, the one for which I had
no ability to control.
Settle I did try
With all my might.
~Lori Ellis-McKinney (2013)