Sacrifice

What’s a woman to do when she looks things over

And concludes that just ain’t right.

When the marriage aisle she walked down

Proves to be a fool’s journey.

When the profession she has become a member of

Has been marginalized by the powers that

Hold the ledgers.

What’s a woman to do.

Weep uncontrollably, lament it was all for naught.

Walk away to become an example of the

Reality in which she was born.

To close the door on it all, for she knew there was no way to

Continue the rest of her days here on the planet

In contradiction to the very values she knew to be true.

Born a seer, not of her own making.

Able to see through to the core of the human experience,

But so much not wanting to.

Fixing, managing, settling controlling as much as she possibly could

To make it work.

Until the day of horrors came when she must look in the mirror

And say

“ I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t

I know it is not the Way”

I wished beyond all wishes that I did not know what I knew

But I did – no escaping that Truth.

Gently and silently walking away, accepting the consequences of

Closing up Shop.

Standing Tall, believing, digging, scrounging, holding, begging, pleading

In the privacy of my soul, never revealing my struggle to anyone.

Ready to accept whatever failure may come from stepping out into the abyss.

Guided by the Holy Light, each and every step, explaining to no one

The belly of my Dream.

Walking forward in faith

Shaking from head to toe.

Accepting the glory may only be in the attempt to bring my life into alignment

with what I knew deep in my heart was true.

Maybe no one else would be believe it, see it , feel it

Maybe I would be alone.

Maybe I did not care!

                                             ~Lori Ellis (2014)